Matchmaking in Middle Class India

Matchmaking in Middle Class India

It turns out the outspoken, and “stubborn,” breakout star of Netflix’s controversial new reality dating show ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ is a romantic after all. She spoke with us recently by phone about dating and relationships. The hit show itself is about a matchmaker named Sima who helps arrange a marriage—a traditional form of courtship and matrimony in India—for clients all over the world. Every episode follows a mix of Indians and Indian-Americans as they share their romantic hopes and dreams with Sima. They’re then matched up with other hopefuls and go out on dates. Multiple singles are set up with other singles.

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The show follows the lives of Indian individuals trying to get married through a matchmaker based in Mumbai, Sima Taparia. Indian Matchmaking is regressive in terms of a lot of aspects, be it the blatant colourism, casteism or the misogynistic views of Sima herself, but at the same time, many have found it undeniably binge-watchable.

Indian Matchmaking follows the lives of Indian individuals trying to get married through a matchmaker based in Mumbai, Sima Taparia. For me, after finishing the show, a sort of guilt manifested inside my head.

Sima Taparia jets between Mumbai and the US to arrange marriages, perpetuating gender and caste stereotypes – which only make us mad.

CNN Smriti Mundhra is not at all bothered that people are talking about colorism, sexism and elitism when it comes to “Indian Matchmaking. Chat with us in Facebook Messenger. Find out what’s happening in the world as it unfolds. More Videos Why the Netflix show ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ is causing a stir She is the creator of the hit Netflix series that offers an inside look into the work of Sima Taparia, a Mumbai-based matchmaker who travels the world helping her client find their “life partners.

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The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences.

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We had hung out so many times. I am not the producer or the person who created the show. I am a piece of this puzzle, just as you were. View this post on Instagram Realized some words got cut so reposting mysocialmediagameisweak indianmatchmaking I battled back and forth about showing my truth but just decided in the spirit of educating and learning in to post how I felt about indianmatchmaking with Nadia. I am fine with any reactions but if there is one thing I learned this year is that your voice counts and to speak up.

Did I make mistakes? Of course. Did I own and try to fix it and learn? The truth is we were supposed to hang out one night after a wedding she was at. I had a family issue during that night and intended to still come, hence I texted on my way.

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Weddings may be delayed, but matchmaking is as busy as ever. So where did Ankita Bansal , the modern business woman, end up after having met not one, but two, matchmakers? There was Akshay Jakhete and then there was his mother, who blamed her rising blood pressure on Akshay’s slow journey to marriage. However, Akshay is feeling lighter post split.

‘Indian Matchmaking‘ shines a light on a difficult reality. Netflix show that follows couples in a quest for marriage in India and the US has.

Critics accuse the show of stereotyping and commodifying women, lacking diversity and promoting a backwards vision of marriage where astrologers and meddling parents are more influential than the preferences of brides and grooms. They complain that the series, which follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she jets between Mumbai and the U. In fact, the real problem may be their discomfort with the way marriage works in India, with social stability prized over individual happiness.

A small fraction still practices child marriage, with some communities holding betrothal ceremonies as soon as a girl is born. At the other end of the spectrum, there is growing acceptance of queer relationships, divorce and even avoiding marriage altogether. But most Indian marriages are still arranged. Even college-educated, urban, middle-class Indians show a strong preference to marry within caste.

Muslims in South Asia marry within their biradari or jaat — a stand-in for Hindu caste. The reason Guyanese-born Nadia faces a limited set of options in the show is not because of her South American birth, but because Indians who were shipped as indentured laborers to the New World were mostly lower castes, or so perceived. When the purpose of marriage is to find love, companionship and compatibility, then the focus is on the characteristics of the individual.

The marriage market is akin to a matching market, similar to Tinder or Uber. But, in a world where marriage exists to maintain caste lines, the nature of the marriage market more closely resembles a commodity market, where goods are graded into batches.

We Need to Talk About ‘Indian Matchmaking’

Hi I don’t have enough word to Thank you Shaadi. It was like nearly impossible to get a girl like a Read more. Well I am really happy to tell you that after a long search I finally met my life partner with the help of Shaadi. I am very thankful to this platform for helping me to do such job. I wish may ot

Indian Matchmaking follows the lives of Indian individuals trying to get married through a matchmaker based in Mumbai, Sima Taparia. Another.

Based on criteria they provide, clients are matched with ostensibly compatible dates, but they soon find that the goal of marriage is more difficult to attain that they had hoped — even with a matchmaker who consults biological data profiles, astrologers and face readers. Listen Listening Does the addictively bingeable series provide an accurate look at the process of arranged marriage for Indians and Indian Americans in ?

Indians living in India approach marriage and dating differently than Indians living in the U. And Indians who have emigrated to the U. The point is: there is no unilateral approach. Manisha Dass also notes the diversity. There’s major differences in how people think about dating in the generations before me and definitely location as well. Income, education, profession, region, religion, parentage and skin color can all be deterrents when it comes to finding a suitable match.

People will say, like: Oh no, you don’t fit one caste or the other. And I’m glad that the show didn’t shy away from them. Change really is only going to happen if we can talk about the issues, and it’s nice to see that this show has, you know, kind of sparked a lot of these conversations. For so long, it’s been easier to kind of brush it under the carpet as a cultural sort of habit and not really talk about it, and it’s really great to see that people are coming forward and having fun conversations about it.

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Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ tackles marriage but is silent on caste, class, and color.

Matchmaker Sima Taparia guides clients in the U. Sima meets three unlucky-in-love clients: a stubborn Houston lawyer, a picky Mumbai bachelor and a misunderstood Morris Plains, N. Friends and family get honest with Pradhyuman. Sima consults a face reader for clarity on her clients. A setback with Vinay temporarily discourages Nadia. Sima offers two more prospects to Aparna.

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The notion of teaching them to adjust is at the crux of her process, as she works with entire families to find the right partner for their would-be brides and grooms. In some ways, the show is a modern take on arranged marriage, with contemporary dating horrors like ghosting and lacking the skills for a meet-up at an ax-throwing bar. But issues of casteism, colorism and sexism, which have long accompanied the practice of arranged marriage in India and the diaspora, arise throughout, giving viewers insight into more problematic aspects of Indian culture.

Few shows have been as divisive and controversial as Netflix’s recent Indian Matchmaking. The series, which follows Mumbai matchmaker.

I was on the phone with my mother, who lives in Pune, India, complaining about Indian Matchmaking , when she brought up the marriage proposal. I knew she agreed. I scoffed. But watch Indian Matchmaking , and you may end the eight-episode arc of the smartly edited, highly bingeable show with a misleading idea of how arranged marriages actually work.

The Netflix reality show follows Sima Taparia, a matchmaker from Mumbai whose pen-and-paper spreadsheets of potential suitors is far from the most outdated thing about her. She flies back and forth between the U. Women need to cook. Men need to provide. Most women who hire Taparia on Indian Matchmaking are accomplished professionals with hobbies and a social life. And every one of them is told to compromise and adjust expectations.

To western audiences, the show depicts a “progressive” style of matchmaking that is much more palatable than the sometimes viciously misogynist and purely transactional matchmaking practiced among most Indians. But what becomes clear while watching the show is that while the means of matchmaking have been updated, the system itself remains brutal for the women involved.

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Sushmita Pathak. Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. Netflix hide caption. A picky year-old from Mumbai whose unwillingness to marry raises his mom’s blood pressure.

‘Indian Matchmaking‘ ping-pongs between Houston, New Jersey, and Mumbai. Multiple singles are set up with other singles. But Aparna is.

Coronavirus: How Covid has changed the ‘big fat Indian wedding’. India’s richest family caps year of big fat weddings. A new Netflix show, Indian Matchmaking, has created a huge buzz in India, but many can’t seem to agree if it is regressive and cringe-worthy or honest and realistic, writes the BBC’s Geeta Pandey in Delhi. The eight-part docuseries features elite Indian matchmaker Sima Taparia as she goes about trying to find suitable matches for her wealthy clients in India and the US. In the series, she’s seen jet-setting around Delhi, Mumbai and several American cities, meeting prospective brides and grooms to find out what they are looking for in a life partner.

Since its release nearly two weeks back, Indian Matchmaking has raced to the top of the charts for Netflix in India. It has also become a massive social phenomenon. Hundreds of memes and jokes have been shared on social media: some say they are loving it, some say they are hating it, some say they are “hate-watching” it, but it seems almost everyone is watching it.

The in-your-face misogyny, casteism and colourism on display have caused much outrage, but also inspired many to introspection. Ms Taparia, who’s in her 50s and like a genial “aunty” to her clients, takes us through living rooms that resemble lobbies of posh hotels and custom-made closets filled with dozens of shoes and hundreds of items of clothing.

That, though, is mostly with her Indian-American clients – where men and women in their 30s have tried Tinder, Bumble and other dating apps and want to give traditional matchmaking a chance to see if it helps them find love. The conversations back home in most cases happen with the parents because, as Ms Taparia says, “in India, marriages are between two families, and the families have their reputations and millions of dollars at stake so parents guide their children”.

As we progress through the episodes, it’s obvious it’s much more than just guidance. It’s the parents, mostly mothers of young men, who are in charge, insisting on a “tall and fair bride” from a “good family” and their own caste.

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